Posted by Maybue on July 2nd, 2009
Some of my friends decided that I have been moping way too much lately. They have been dragging my asses to pubs and parties to get me to lighten up.
It worked. It feels a bit like college again. Freedom, having fun with friends. No relationship definitely has its advantages as well. Everyone who sometimes feels a longing for the good old party days will probably know what I mean.
My friends always have been very important to me and I know that if anything (work, relationship, natural disasters, monsters) would ever come between me and my friends, then that thing would be in for a nasty bit of trouble. Hell hath no fury like a Maybue on a loyalty rampage. I have been told by friends that they sometimes worry about me, because (at least that’s what they tell me) I have a tendency to take better care about my friends than about myself. I don’t really see the problem here, because my friends take quite good care of me in return as well.
So last weekend we went out with a mixed group of about 18 people (never 18 people at the same time, there were friends joining in and leaving all the time) and since the weather was (and still is) horribly wonderful (meaning that it turns me into a walking headspring of sweat), we spent most of the time hanging around in the park with some yummy drinks like bailey’s, Irish Mist, some nice gins (our town is famous for its gin breweries) and/or on the terraces of, I think, most of the pubs in our town (okay, I’m using a bit of poetic license here, but we really did do quite a bit of terraces).
And of course we ended up with a bet. Don’t get your hopes up, nothing big. The bet was about whether one of the gay guys could succeed in kissing 5 other guys (not from our group) in one hour time. The losers had to stand in line and then flash or moon everyone on the terrace of the pub we were sitting at that time. Four guys and two girls believed that he wouldn’t make it. Three guys (including the guy himself) and two girls (including me) believed that he would. The other two girls and one guy, who were there with us at the time, were chicken and didn’t bet. The guy managed to get his five kisses (nobody ever specified that they had to be French kisses or even on the mouth, so that gave him an advantage), so we got a nice show of five pairs of butt cheeks and two pairs of boobs flashing us from the edge of the street.
I hope the good weather holds on for some time. It makes me sweat like a pig (a really sweaty pig), but I really love the sun and the bright sky. It always manages to cheer me up.
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Posted by Maybue on June 11th, 2009
Another step closer to “freedom”. It’s incredible what paperwork you need to just not love each other anymore. And every piece of paper adds another little papercut to my heart.
I loved Faighnee so much. I just don’t know what happened. Well, I do know what happened, but I don’t get how. There are many moments that I remember with fondness. And I often miss those moments. I don’t really miss Faighnee though, not as a lover anyway.
But there’s one thing that keeps bugging me: “It all was so perfect. How could it go wrong. If not her, then who? If this went wrong, then how can it ever be right?”
And it bugs me that I’m so afraid to end up alone.
Old spinster…
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Posted by Maybue on June 4th, 2009
April is poetry month, but April I wasn’t here. (check Nicky’s blog for more about poetry month)
But I like poetry and so I just take poetry month a few months later.
Something I found on the internet and I really liked:
Valentine
people with smiles
like ramparts
and eyes cast down
i know they’re alone today too
I don’t mind being “alone”. I have friends and family and that’s good. But sometimes I miss a special someone with whom I can share everything. Valentine is traditionally one of those days, so I could totally relate. :-)
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Posted by Maybue on June 3rd, 2009
Updating the blog…
Easier said than done. I’m just not much of a blogger. Continuing Lila’s blog seems to be a task that I’m not quite prepared for. I don’t have a clue what to write anyhow. I don’t want to tell you too much about my private life, as it is… private. Most of you read this blog for the “games” that we’ve all played, but I don’t play anymore. So I can’t write about that and that means that I can’t “give the audience what it wants”. Is it any use even to continue this blog if I can’t please its audience? Well sure, I promised and maybe that’s enough reason as it is. But the idea was that we’d write about our games. About Faighnee and me.
Maybe it’s just better to leave the blog for anyone who wants to read it, but not add new stuff that won’t interest anyone anyway.
Hell, maybe nobody cares about this here whiney blog post in the first place…
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Posted by Maybue on June 1st, 2009
I did promise to keep the blog running, so here I (finally) am to do it.
Maybe one day I’ll tell about the reasons why I’ve neglected it for so long, but not yet.
What is there to say? Not much really. Faighnee and I broke up. Our marriage didn’t work out after all. But you already knew that. I’m currently not seeing anyone. I’ve had a few short relationships after Faighnee, but nothing really serious.
I don’t see Faighnee very often anymore. Our old group of friends seems to have disintegrated a bit. Some of them I still see regularly. Others I see hardly ever anymore. I met new people and friends of course.
I don’t “play” anymore. Not only is there no one to play with, I don’t really feel like playing either.
Professionally I’m doing quite well. But you’ll understand if I don’t tell you anything about that. ;-)
I must say that I miss having someone steady in my life, but I’m not unhappy about it, nor do I feel especially lonely. Of course sometimes I do feel a bit lonely. One of the things I miss about a steady relationship is the constant affection. I’m really close with some of my friends, but it’s not really the same.
I think that’s about it for now really.
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