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June 8 2005: Anniversary
Memorial Day weekend was, of course, the one-year anniversary of the infamous Memorial Day Bet, which was the time that Mistress Yoko first tormented and humiliated me from afar... the beginning of the series of events that has led to her current ownership of me.
Speaking of which... I was right, Mistress Yoko did somehow know all along that she was going to win our bet on the wrestling match. I finally got up the nerve to write to her and ask...
Me: Did you know in advance, somehow, that Neige was going to be able to beat me?
Mistress: Yes.
Me: How did she do it? How did she get so good?
Mistress: A good mistress never tells her secrets!
Me: Did you already know it when we made our bet?
Mistress: I knew well before our bet. Did you think I would get into this if I didn't know I would win? Silly kitty!
Me: And all that time, you let me think I was going to win... Argh! You were probably laughing at me the whole time! But that means that all the mouthing off I did when I thought I was
coming out on top was just because you set me up to think I was coming out on top! So it's totally unfair to punish me for any of that stuff!Mistress: Lila, do you think that's going to stop me? 20 disrespect points! I'm so disappointed in you-- I thought we had an understanding here. Clearly, I'm not punishing you enough!
Sigh... I guess we do have an "understanding" now: Mistress Yoko gets to do whatever she wants with me. But after that conversation, I was still indignant over the unfairness of it all. So I wrote to Valkyrie complaining about it, and this is what Valkyrie had to say on the matter:
Silly little girl, you're totally missing the point! First of all, your Mistress doesn't ever have to be fair to you! You're a toy for her amusement, and who ever heard of being fair to toys? She can play with you in any way that amuses her! Second, where did you get the idea that your slavery is unfair just because your Mistress won you by tricking you into a “fixed” bet? Don’t you see, you poor silly thing… that’s what makes it fair! It wouldn’t be fair at all if she’d ended up owning you just by luck! That’s the whole point: the reason you can’t complain about unfairness is that your Mistress didn’t just “get lucky”… she totally outsmarted you, every step of the way! She beat you by skill, not luck! That means that your slavery is totally fair: your Mistress has earned her ownership of you, by demonstrating that she really is the better woman. She has proven, once and for all, that she’s so much smarter than you, so much more naturally dominant, and so much better than you at your own games, that you are fit only to serve her and to be a plaything for her amusement! Being Mistress Yoko’s slave is your proper place in life, so you’d best get used to it! And next time you post a blog entry, I want to see this whole paragraph reprinted in it, so that your Mistress can read it and decide what to do with you for complaining behind her back!
Anyway, Mistress Yoko decided to have some fun with me to celebrate the anniversary of the Memorial Day Bet. Neige was away for the weekend, but she paid me a visit on Thursday. After ordering me to strip naked for inspection, Neige once again rigged me up with the dreaded harness and remote control vibrator and butt plug that I’m forced to wear for my Yahoo Messenger chat sessions with Mistress Yoko so that Mistress Yoko can torment with me while we chat. Then Neige tied me to my chair and logged me into Messenger, and I had to sit there and wait for Mistress Yoko to come home and chat with me. Which, eventually, she did.
We had a long chat session, in which Mistress Yoko and Neige had a great deal of fun at my expense, and in which the remote control toys in me were put to much diabolical use. I was also tortured with the nipple clips again. This chat session was even more excruciating and thoroughly humiliating than the previous one. Mistress Yoko is learning my weak spots and vulnerabilities all too well now, and exploiting them in most distressing ways.
And I just realized that this is another anniversary as well: today is the one-month anniversary of my losing the wrestling match and becoming Mistress Yoko’s permanent slave. My God! I can’t believe it’s only been a month so far! It feels like a lot longer… though in some ways, it also seems like less than a month, because I’m still not used to certain things… especially being shaved. I still haven’t got used to that sensation… the feel of my shaved privates against my underwear still drives me crazy, and makes every workday an endless agony of horniness.
But anyway, it’s terrifying that Mistress Yoko has become so skilled so quickly at finding what will torture and embarrass me the most… what will it be like in six months? Just thinking about it makes me get panicky.
Near the end of the chat session, Neige informed me that she’d brought that enormous strap-on that she’d used on me anally after the wrestling match, and that she was prepared to do the same to me again, later on that very evening, if Mistress Yoko so decreed it. She said that she’d only do it if Mistress Yoko consented to it, and that Mistress Yoko also got to choose how long she’d do it to me for. Well, despite my frantic pleading, Mistress Yoko declared that Neige could have me you-know-where for a full 15 minutes that night! And not only that, but she also told Neige to have the nipple clips on me when she did it!
After the chat, Neige played with me for a good long while, making me dance and strike humiliating poses for her, and then tightly hogtying me on the floor while she teased me and forced me to suck her toes. All the while, she taunted me about the anal action that was in store for me later on. Then, while I was still hogtied on the floor, she took a photo of me for Mistress Yoko! She said she wanted Mistress Yoko to see how cute I looked in my Hello Kitty panties (I had wondered why she’d made me put them back on before hogtying me). She showed me the photo on the camera’s viewer, and at least it didn’t have my face in it, just my torso from breasts to top of thighs. But still! I protested quite vociferously, but Neige said that Mistress Yoko had requested the picture, and that was that.
I was released from the hogtie, and forced to kneel on all fours while Neige put the nipple clips on me and spanked me (20 hard swats, on Mistress Yoko’s orders). Then it was time for my 15 agonizing minutes of you-know-what, which Neige made sure was quite painful and humiliating. After that, I had to go down on her until she was satisfied, and then bring myself to orgasm in front of her. And that was my Memorial Day anniversary celebration.
Mistress Yoko wrote to me yesterday to tease me about how much she enjoyed the photo. Much to my distress, she also said that she’d shown it to her boyfriend! Every time I think she’s humiliated me as much as it’s possible to, she proves me wrong again. I wrote to Valkyrie about it (not complaining this, time… honest, Mistress… I was just in such a state that I had to write to someone about it). Once again, Valkyrie put things in an even more distressing perspective for me, by replying:
Well, of course! Part of the fun of winning is displaying your trophy!
Anyway, I was kind of putting off writing about all this, partly because of how embarrassing in all is, and mostly because I wasn’t terribly eager to find out how Mistress Yoko was going to react to that paragraph that Valkyrie said I had to post next time I wrote… But when she wrote to me yesterday, Mistress Yoko said that I had to write this entry, and that from now on, I have to write about all of Neige’s visits to me.
Sigh… I hope you’re all enjoying reading.
June 9 2005: Apology
Dear Mistress,
I'm sorry I complained behind your back. Please forgive me, Mistress. I take back what I said about my slavery being unfair. I admit that Valkyrie was right: you outsmarted me and beat me fair and square, and I fully deserve to be your slave. You are superior to me in every way, and it is only right that you should be my Mistress.
Your Apologetic Slave,
Lila
Don't you love those foaming-at-the-mouth fundamentalist Christian pamphlets in comic book format, by Jack Chick? Classic Americana at its finest!
Well, now there’s finally a version with a really useful spiritual message:
http://www.hellblazer.com/media/chick-cthulu.html
Well, last Sunday (the 19th) Neige dropped by to subject me to another inspection, once again checking up, on behalf of Mistress Yoko, to make sure that I’m keeping my privates shaved smooth and wearing my Hello Kitty panties as per Mistress Yoko’s orders.
The inspection routine is fairly simple and thoroughly humiliating: I have to strip naked in front of Neige, and then hold various compromising and embarrassing poses while enduring her taunts, squeezes, spanks, and pinches. Then, still naked, I have to wait on her hand and foot for as long as it pleases her. Finally, if I passed the inspection (and believe me, I’m not foolish enough to ever risk finding out what happens if I fail one), I’m “rewarded” by being forced to bring myself to orgasm while she watches.
These inspections may also include whatever other surprises Mistress Yoko has asked Neige to spring on me. So far, the only time this has happened has been the little “Memorial Day Anniversary Celebration” I wrote of above in my June 8th entry… but as Neige occasionally reminds me, Mistress Yoko could write to her anytime with further special instructions for her next visit.
I’m also now required to write about every inspection, so that Mistress Yoko and all my other readers can enjoy reading about my humiliations.
Anyway, last Sunday, after inspecting me and having me serve her a drink, Neige made me get down (still naked) in front of the sofa on my hands and knees and remain motionless for half an hour so that she could use me as a footrest while she read my comic books. I protested that this was an undeserved cruelty, but she gave me a swat on the butt for my impudence and explained that now that I was going to be writing about it every time she visited, she was trying to come up with some new torment each time so that Mistress Yoko would have something fun to read about.
So last night (Sunday the 26th), Neige came by again. After inspecting me, she demanded to know why I hadn’t written about her previous visit yet, especially since I’d found the time to write a brief entry about something else on the 21st, and to post a few comments to one of Mistress Yoko’s boyfriend’s LiveJournal entries. She accused me of procrastinating on the entry out of embarrassment, and then tied me to the bed, naked and spreadeagled, and tickle-tortured me until I confessed to this (actually, I frantically confessed before she even started the tickling, but I got tickled anyway). She reminded me that I’d been ordered to write about her visits for my Mistress’ pleasure, and that it was most disrespectful and foolish of me to be slow about pleasing my Mistress.
She tickled me until I was sobbing, and then untied me and made me kneel on the floor and suck on her toes. While I sucked her toes, she informed me that I had 24 hours to get an entry posted about last Sunday’s visit and this one. She said that next time she visited she’d come up with something even more embarrassing to do to me just so I’d have to write about it, and that when I wrote this entry, I had to mention that, and I also had to suggest that maybe Mistress Yoko would like to offer Neige some suggestions on the subject.
So that’s how my life is going.
According to my server logs, this month, which ends in a few minutes, has seen far more visits to this site than any previous month. What’s more, a higher percentage of my visitors have been doing what you’re doing right now: reading the current blog entry page.
From this, I infer that my enslavement by Mistress Yoko is a development that my readers are enjoying.
Great.
From the list that my server logs provide me of the many, many search terms (mostly erotic in nature) that bring search engine users here, I see that I’m developing a repuation: many, many people are now finding this website because they’re actually looking for it, with search terms such as “guttergaunt,” “guttergaunt lila,” “lila first time tied,” etc.
When someone visits this site via a link from another site, my server logs also tell me which site the visitor came from. This month, the majority of the visitors who came here via an outside link came via the link on Mistress Yoko’s site. I don’t know whether this means that Mistress Yoko herself frequently uses the link on her own site to get here, or whether it means that some of Mistress Yoko’s friends are now enjoying reading about her exploits as a slave owner. The thought that it might be the latter fills me not only with embarrassment but with dread, lest any of them decide to add to their amusement by offering her suggestions on what to do with me.
I continue to get mail from strangers, which I don’t answer but which I always enjoy and appreciate. I don’t hear much from fellow bloggers (except for Mistress Yoko, of course), or at least not from people who tell me that they’re fellow bloggers. Hey, if you write me, and you do have stuff of your own online, include a link to it!