March 2005
March 1 2005: Eff Ay Kyoo
Nicky's recent update of the bio page on his site inspired me to scrap my lame "Contact/About Me" page with its lame capsule biography, and replace it with a brand spankin' new FAQ page. If there's any questions you want to see answered in the FAQ, send them my way!
And I'm in love with this amazing online comic book called Kagerou: An Electric Manga. Check it out!
March 4 2005: Two Things
My hair is down past my shoulder blades now.
This rain is making me so horny I could scream.
March 7 2005: An Offer I Can't Refuse
Remember last month, when my Super Bowl bet went terribly awry and I ended up becoming Mistress Yoko's slave? Well, I'm getting pretty nervous about that now... I thought that she wouldn't exploit her power over me in the long run, and that she'd free me as soon as she'd made me sweat over it for a week or so. But I fear I might once again have underestimated her evil streak... it's been a month, and she still addresses me as her slave, and taunts me with reminders of her power over me, and requires me to address her as Mistress... it's quite humiliating, to say the least! I can only hope that she relents soon... honest, Mistress, I've learned my lesson!
Now, much to my dismay, Mistress Yoko has decided to exploit her power over me in a bigger way than just taunting me. She and Valkyrie want to see more reader contributions to this site, especially artwork, and they've got an offer for my artistically talented readers, which Mistress Yoko has commanded me to announce. It's a much more evil version of my old deal with Valkyrie. Here's how it works: you send your artwork (or writing) for this site to Valkyrie, and she decides which pieces are going on this site... I'm not allowed to refuse! For every piece you submit, you get to pick one torment for Valkyrie to inflict on me if that piece gets used. If you choose not to specify the price I pay for a piece, Mistress Yoko and Valkyrie get to decide the price.
Please read the newly-uptated Submission Guidelines page for full details.
Mistress Yoko also commands me to tell you all that if you know any good artists (even artists you don't know personally, like the creators of any sexy webcomics you like), you should bring this site, this deal, and the Submission Guidelines page to their attention. And of course, if you're creatively inclined yourself, I'm ordered to request that you send Valkyrie some illustrations, along with whatever "price tags" you like.
Gulp.
March 29 2005: Fan Mail from Another World
I get fan mail sometimes. It always blows me away that total strangers enjoy this site enough to send me fan mail. It’s almost always guys who write to me, but I’ve heard from a couple of women, too, which is always especially delightful. I never thought of myself as the kind of person people would send fan mail to, and being tied up, enslaved, and erotically tormented and humiliated sure is a funny thing to get fan mail for.
I almost never answer my fan mail, though I sometimes will if it really tickles me, like if the person shares a story or fantasy of their own. Even when I do answer, I don’t keep up a correspondence, I’m just not good about that. But those emails people send me do reach me, and I read them all, and they’re much appreciated.
Until now, all of my fan mail has come from people who are pretty obviously born-and-bred Americans, Canadians, Brits, or Australians. This month, though, I got my first fan letter from a Third World country, and it totally blew my mind.
Depending on where one lives in this country, it can be more or less hard to grow up sexually different… queer, kinky, or whatever. I’m sure most of you are aware of what a nightmare it can be for some people, being different in some parts of America. But have you ever thought about what it would be like to be queer and/or kinky in a Third World country completely dominated by a fundamentalist, sexually repressive religion?
I can just hear some of my fellow Americans are saying, “We do live in a country completely dominated by a fundamentalist, sexually repressive religion!” But that’s bullshit. Yes, our current government is dominated by a fundamentalist, sexually repressive religion… but the government isn’t the whole culture, is it? The culture of urban America has enough sexual openness that even back in the days when Ronald Reagan was president, I, as a then-17-year-old girl, was able to walk unaccompanied, in broad daylight, into a shop on a major street in Philadelphia, and purchase a set of leather wrist and ankle restraints and a ball gag. That is not something that could happen in a country where puritanical, fundamentalist religion truly dominates the culture.
Holy shit, did I just write a “be glad you live in America” rant?
I never really though about this until I got this email. It was a real eye-opener for me. Without further ado, here it is:
I am an admirer. I have been involved in the fantasy of getting tied up and sexually used against my will. I have been reading the kind of stories ever since I remember, ever since I was given easy access to the Internet. I really really enjoyed the 3 of your stories. The fourth one wasn’t out when I started reading. Damn this was exactly what I had been looking for.
I belong to a 3rd world country, Pakistan in South Asia. Here in this country, seeing someone naked is rare. In fact naked is a faaaar stronger a word. We don't even see skin, (apart from face and hands). Traditionally girls even cover their hair. Most have adult checks on where they go when they move outdoors. College to home and home to college is their only life. The elite and “modernised” class ... girls wear jeans and shorter shirts, but still no skin. Dating is uncommon. A girlfriend is a sign of pride. In a nutshell it is a very conservative society.
People don't really have fantasies like I possess. Men my age, or younger, all they want to see is skin. The anxiety of the sexual part of life is the most they want to fulfill. Tied up, stripped, spanked, humiliated is nowhere near their minds. They don't even know these things exist.
Stories I have been reading had several deficiencies, which obviously failed to satisfy me. Some start by the two people involved without clothes or the clothes go off within a sentence of text or at most two (worst). Some started off good, but somewhere around in the middle the girls got interested and didn't hesitate to take her clothes off herself, or enjoyed while she was stripped. This is probably because in the West girls and boys are familiar of the stuff of the opposite sex. They somewhere in their youth have a girlfriend/boyfriend to fulfill the anxiety of seeing the each others' privates. The general dress code there in the west, shows most.
However I once had a wonderful collection of just-the-right stories which I found time to time and had the things that I wanted in them.
Your stories, however, had this element of struggling as hard as human strength allows to cover, to protect one's modesty, the most. Just the perfect kinda stories that I was looking for. Genders of dom or sub doesn’t matter to me much. It is their relationship that is vital. However the opposite gender interaction is more exotic, but still, I love the element I talked about more than that.
I was thinking of writing to you since I read the 3 of your stories. Each better than the last one. But laziness took me and for no reason I didn't. The 4th one had me. It really did. It is by-far-and-large the best my-kinda story. In all the years’ research of mine, finding a story like this one, yours is the best. That explains why somebody like me, with horrible and many times humiliating English writing skills has written such a lengthy mail. I just had to.
The guy who wrote this asked me to respect his anonymity, but was brave and generous enough to give me permission to reprint it here. Thank you, Guy Who Wrote This. After reading this, I’ll never take my sexual freedom for granted again.
“Sexual freedom” might seem like a funny term for me to use while I’m a slave, but I ended up a slave as the result of making foolish bets of my own free will… part of freedom is being free to explore one’s own special kind foolishness, and to get oneself in one’s own special kind of trouble. And we all know that the nature of my enslavement by Mistress Yoko is something entirely different from the lifetimes of slavery experienced by women in Third World countries who can be stoned to death for showing too much skin… or, in some cases, for trying to learn to read.
Anyway, getting this email has really broadened my perspective on what I’m doing by chronicling my erotic misadventures on this site. It hadn’t occurred to me how much impact my writing could have on someone whose cultural surroundings have made them feel sexually isolated. Now that I think about it, I realize that when I was 15, and struggling to come to terms with my awakening queerness and kinkiness, it would have been a wonderful thing for me to read stuff like this. It’s funny… I’m an extremely solitary person, and my writing often feels like such self-indulgent exercise to me… but I now realize that for some people, the stuff I write here can carry the most important message in the world: you are not alone.